This picture was the first post that I saw on checking FB this morning.
I see it as a reminder from the Universe (and FB algorithms) to solidify some meaningful lessons I learned from emotionally eating last night.
Over the past weekend I went out to lunch with a close friend of many decades.
After lunch, my friend confided to me that she was jealous of the self control I easily had with food.
Frankly, I told her, there are days when I give in to cravings and emotionally eat.
My dear friend just looked at me like, “Oh, sure.”
It probably seems that way to many people that know me because I over the years I have developed life style habits that help me to easily have self control 80-90% of the time.
Here is my latest “Of Course I Fell Off the Food Wagon” story ….
Yesterday morning I went quickly from feeling very self assured (especially after my friend’s compliment) to a very unpleasant human as I emotionally crumpled under multiple stresses….
Stress that I thought I was managing quite well until I had this emotional blow up before noon.
Even after the flare up, I just couldn’t let go of the triggers with continued nagging anger and frustration for much of the day.
Confession:
By dinnertime, I had to order my favorite take out pizza with pepperoni, black olives, pineapple and extra cheese.
I ate 3/4’s of my medium sized pizza.
At least I made sure to follow my own hard earned advice that I give to others about eating emotionally.
I ate it slowly, savoring every bite.
I took note of all my thoughts and all the memories popping up before, during and after I ate that pizza.
I throughly enjoyed eating 3/4’s of my medium sized pizza without guilt.
And suddenly, I felt very satisfied and full.
I had absolutely no problems throwing away the 1/4th of left over pizza.
I did wake this morning with some regrets as I wondered if my pizza binge was really worth my bloated and complaining tummy that kept waking me up all night long?
My mindful eating, even though it was over eating, provided me with deeper awareness of some emotional trigger links that I still need to dissolve and replace with healthier mental / emotional reframes and approaches.
Using this mindful eating approach, I have dissolved most of my past addictive food cravings and triggers for emotional eating.
In the past I would have woke, still craving more pizza, really regretting and kicking myself because I had thrown away 1/4th of pizza.
Instead my subconscious mind wishes my emotional indulgence hadn’t caused a night of tummy aches.
So yes, the inner healing created by my mindful pizza binge was worth it.
I accept and forgive that I felt stressed and emotionally blew up yesterday.
I accept and forgive myself for needing to over eat pizza last night.
I accept and forgive my past reasons for my food addictions.
I accept and forgive myself for just being a human with an entire spectrum of emotions.
I accept and forgive myself for not coping with and healing my stress issues faster.
I accept and forgive myself for still needing the heal what’s still eating me.
